In looking back over my posts so far, I am concerned that I may be romanticising my experience.
There are awful days. Days when I am convinced the neighbors opposite me hate me; days when I feel like I will implode if anyone speaks any more Japanese at me; and, days when I would give my right arm for a full-English breakfast.
I just can’t really allow myself to dwell on these things. Having to go into work and make myself useful definitely helps. More than that, interacting with the students makes all the rubbish days dissolve away. Like when I get them popping up outside my kitchen window, peering in and asking what it is that I am cooking for dinner.
Acts of kindness from neighbors and colleagues are wonderful, but they are not accidental. I continually have to throw myself into the most awkward situations possible, grin and bare it and not allow my self to start wallowing in self pity. I think that this has helped me to earn some respect by showing that I want to be here and be a part of the community.
I guess what I am saying is that anyone can have positive experiences doing something like this. You just have to get on with it when the inevitable not-so-good days roll around.
Failing that, going on an osake sampling night would do the trick…
It can be easy to do…I’ve found myself telling everyone nothing but good things for months, only to be exploding with complaints the past few weeks. I think I was afaid to let them out but I’m not sure why. I wonder if we all think people only want to hear good things…it’s good to keep it real though. I hope you have more good days than bad at least!
Thanks for sharing! Quite a relief actually.
I think part of not disclosing about the rough days is so as not to worry friends and family at home. There is not really much they can do being so far away. My husband and I had a pact not to complain to each other about rubbish bits, but sometimes it’s good to complain!
There is also the thing about demystifying the whole experience. Whilst coming to Japan has been amazing in so many ways, when it comes down to it, my routine is essentially the same as it was back home. Get up, go to work, come home, have dinner, go to bed. The routine also includes having bad days for whatever reason.
The fact that I can’t understand what my colleagues are saying and that I don’t know what it is I am eating for dinner is what makes me realise where I am. Japan is unique and beautiful and intriguing, but generally it’s pretty standard work mode from 8am – 5pm Mon – Fri! (However, as my school is located actually on top of a mountain, the views are pretty incredible. But my desk is faced so my back is to the window – ha, jokes on me.)
And, as I’m on a roll, there are plenty of things that are pretty dire about Japan. It is just like any other country in the world. It is not perfect. The unrepentant veneration of bureaucracy. The insanely poor driving. The self-destructive nationalistic tendencies. The wide-spread use of fax machines. The unimaginable waste of paper. The grotesque sexualisation of young girls.
These things have been known to be causes of my bad days. But every country and it’s people have issues. I’m glad I could un-earth Japan’s as it makes me appreciate what I have at home and makes me think about the things that could be better.
Wow. That really is a diary entry. And just to note, I’ve actually had a very nice day, I’ve just been in a bit of a ‘reflective’ mood. Don’t mind me!
Hope you’re having a good winter!
I definitely agree about not wanting to worry those back home…my mom worried enough as it is!! I’ve recently been unloading things though. If you hold it in too much it isn’t good either! Sometimes we all just need to complain. I suppose this isn’t the most favorable season either!
Glad today was a nice day for you though!!
Janice: Honesty is good. If you were at home you would come home at the end of a working day and ‘download’ to a human being! Using a blog has got be therapeutic, like a diary. Don’t prevent parents from doing what they do best – worrying then praying! x